It’s truly surreal to be walking around without my precious Mom (aka Nonna) beside me. How I navigate the world is based on her unconditional love. I can’t put into words how proud I have always been to be her daughter, and how much love there is between us. The bond is beyond remarkable – we were (and are) soulmates. We wouldn’t hesitate to do anything for one another – and we did. In these weeks after her passing, I have a deep desire to want others to know the special little ways she was so wonderful, and some of the joys and triumphs she brought to the world.
Sharing this deeply personal story about her funeral feels therapeutic. Here you’ll see pure-love highlighted by beautiful flowers, and intentional details in the blessings for Nonna: flowers and notes from my mom’s funeral Mass.
I hope you enjoy learning a little more about Maria Rosaria and how we loved and honored her. The top of this post is filled with visual details, while the bottom content shares some of her story in the obituary and eulogy that I wrote, in loving memory.
Church: Mission San Luis Rey, Oceanside
Florist: Karen of Glorified Hobby
Photography: Emily Friske Photography
Having Emily present to photograph this day was a huge gift to our family and loved ones. The images I’m sharing, and all of the ones that are too intimate to post, will be forever-cherished. I’m so grateful to be able to reflect and look back on these moments. I was so-present in all the anticipation and fulfillment of every detail, that it was too difficult for me look up and see the whole picture. This day for Mom funeral was deeply-emotional and so very good (so-her).
Just a fraction of the beauty her life and love was revealed to all in attendance. I’ll never get over it – in the best way possible.
love of flowers
Mom absolutely LOVED flowers. I’ve never known anyone who appreciated their natural beauty, and loved them more than she did. If she was presented with a bouquet, she’d often kiss it! Flowers were a meaningful and important treasure in her life. Their colors and presence brought added enrichment and joy to her, especially in her final years when the smallest details mattered the most. Even in the most difficult day and through real suffering she endured, she could still notice them and want to talk about them.
Knowing this, throughout the 25 years she lived with us as a family – and especially in her final years, when I had the honor of being her person and caretaker – I tried to keep flowers in her bedroom at all times.
Nonna’s first question was always, “Who are they from?” If they were not from me, most often they were from Karen – my dear friend and partner in Glorified Hobby florist services. Karen and Nonna shared a deeply loving relationship. In this life, Karen and I are sisters.
The choices and details for her funeral flowers would be deeply personal and emotional for both Karen and myself. We cried often about the idea of fulfilling them for her. I would tear up about what it took to accomplish all that we did, week after week, with deep love poured into both our work with a busy and booked summer, and for the tender care of the intense caretaking I’d accomplish Nonna. I’m so proud of us, and I know Nonna is proud of us too.
arrangements and stems
When it was time to face reality and plan for the funeral, I knew exactly what I wanted to see to represent her in flowers: an abundance of Easter-like colors, with texture, a touch of white, and at least one carnation mixed in. I’d want placement of the arrangements to only accentuate the reverence of the Mass. I would provide my notes and list, and left all design and stem choices for Karen to decide. This is the list of what was fulfilled:
- one cake-style flower meadow – as the centerpiece to hold the urn. This is inspired by our wedding work. Built around a 10″ vintage blue-glass pedestal as the center, Karen would surround the pedestal in florals that would come up gradually to the back. We wanted this to fit within the provided two-foot square table.
- two extra large and longer garden scape floor arrangements – placed at either side of the church altar
- one more classic, large floor arrangement to be placed at the foot of the easel holding a 16″x20″ framed image of Nonna
- two small-medium compote arrangements for specific statues- one placed at Our Lady of the Immaculate Conception, and one placed at Christ Scourged
- one medium-large compote welcome-table arrangement
stem recipe:
Ranunculus, Butterfly Ranunculus, Garden Roses, Spray Roses, Zinnia, Lisianthus, Delphinium, Stock, Carnation, Veronica, Hydrangea, Chamomile, Fern
welcome table
As family and friends entered the church, they were welcomed by a guest book to sign. A six-foot table was draped in a crocheted tablecloth that Mom had designed and made herself. A single compote-style floral arrangement was surrounded by meaningful items we invited guests to take: blessed rosary beads, prayer cards, hand-fans in anticipation of a warm afternoon, and the program with all readings, prayers, and her obituary.
To display these items, I used pieces from home, including a wicker basket, silver and crystal trays, pedestals, and bowls.
Rosary
To begin the services, I would go up to the podium to recite the Holy Rosary in both English and Italian.
By this time, most everyone in attendance would be seated. Mom’s urn would be at the back of the church, waiting for the Mass and her family to process with her remains.
As I stood at the podium, I wanted to be strong for Mom and for our family. I thought of the hundreds of consecutive days we had prayed the Rosary together in her bedroom, always in Italian and guided by a YouTube channel from a church in Italy – at places we had visited together. If she was too tired or unable that day, I prayed for both of us so she could simply listen. It was one of the countless bonds we shared.
I used a light blue crystal and silver rosary from her vast collection. These were the same beads we later draped over her urn, and are now buried with her remains.
The framed photo we would all vote on to represent her as she truly was, was taken by me during our last trip to Italy together – inside the Basilica di Santa Croce, in Lecce.
procession
The next step was for the Mass to begin. This image of her loved ones looking toward us as we processed to the altar with her remains, is so moving. I can’t put into words how it touched my heart for her extended family and friends to come together for her that day.
My brother, his wife and children would be walking in front of my children, my husband and myself. I’d have the honor of carrying Mom’s remains in. This was my request, and my brother would have the honor of carrying her after and onto her burial.
I had a vivid dream the night before. We were all at the funeral. So many people filled the church. Everyone was very happy and seated. It was time to process in after the Rosary. I stood up, and noticed Mom was sitting next to me. I gently helped her up to stand (but she was strong and didn’t need my help). While we were arm-in-arm walking and talking, she was holding her own urn before she passed it to me so I could take my place to walk in for the funeral Mass to begin. I’m still in awe of this dream and how it helped me.
After placing her urn at the flower meadow, the priest would cover it, and bless it.
urn meadow
The flower meadow was the most important and central floral element Karen would create. I loved how she brought my vision to life. Every detail was simply perfect since it all felt and looked ‘so Nonna.‘
a closer look at the tablecloth: I love Nonna’s choice of pattern and design to create this piece for the small table. It was oblong shaped. I especially love how I can touch and treasure something she made with her own mind and hands.
moments & memories
Father Paul came from the Diocese of Orange to celebrate the Mass for us, and made this day especially holy and reverent. He personally knew Nonna, so having him speak of her during the homily was beyond-touching.
My daughter delivered the eulogy, and I cannot fully express how proud I was, and continue to be, of her. If anyone has witnessed it all and walked hand in hand through the unimaginable circumstances surrounding her Nonna, it has been Sachi. Her love, devotion, and loyalty shine bright.
Toward the end of this post, you can read the words she shared with all of us that day.
The hardships surrounding the deterioration of Nonna’s body and mind was a most excruciatingly difficult challenge for our family. I am still working to heal from the trauma of caring for her through profound pain, anguish, and decline. All that she faced was beyond anything I could have imagined. During her final two years, I was her sidekick through brief hospitalizations, moving in and out of palliative care and home hospice with us.
This last Thanksgiving seemed especially difficult for her. I would become deeply distraught, asking my husband for reassurance to hold on because of our promise to her: that she would remain with us until the end. And he held my hands through it. We couldn’t have accomplished this level of care without his steady support. When we reached a point where we thought the threshold was at it’s highest to bear, a new bar and height was set. Being only human, I sometimes wondered how I could continue to do everything well enough for her. Would this be months more of suffering, or even years? Only God could know.
My brother, and our families are close, and we’ve been through a lot, even before this time for Nonna. Helping one another and loving her has only brought us closer together. We carried on: day by day, moment by moment, together. On some weekends, the Sweets joined us so that I could work or rest in respite time. During the week, if work required me to leave the house, I had to hire skilled care; otherwise, I couldn’t leave home and that was completely okay and normal in that season life for me. In all the ups and downs, her life would continue to teach about who I am meant to be.
When my son came home from college for the summer, Nonna greeted him with a big, surprised, “Nikko!” Soon after we were all together again, she seemed to take a significant decline. June was especially cruel and difficult for Mom. I gave her every bit of love and care I had. I prayed for mercy—for her body and for mine.
I had coincidentally taken the time off work to celebrate our July birthdays and her transition hit-hard on Sunday, June 28. That was the last day she would have the strength to be out of bed. I needed to be by her side and attentive 24/7. I’d take the family room couch cushions to the floor of her room as my bed at night stay by her side. I was humbled to ask for help and it arrived right on time. Our friends and cousins would come to feed us at home. I’ll never forget what an impact the outpouring of love and support my people have given to my heart and life.
In those final days, she would enter a coma-like state. She appeared to be asleep, breathing deeply with her eyes closed most of the time. Yet before she lost the ability to move her muscles or swallow, she would still respond when she heard my voice to announce someone entering the room. She was listening. She was with us.
I will always hold close to one of the final gifts she gave me. It was just the two of us in her room. I was talking to her and holding her hand, when with all the strength she had, she gently caressed my hand with her thumb. It was everything. She showed me that she knew.
Mom made it to my 50th birthday (7/3) and was with us until the day before her 83rd (7/11). At her last breath, my husband, kids, and I were all by her side, surrounding her. We are so grateful.
on to burial
My brother, Mark, held Mom to her burial. Her sister, my Zia Michelle (shown in the wheelchair) helped carry her urn along the way too. I took a longer to reach the crypt because I wanted to greet everyone as they left the Mass. When I arrived at her burial site, I was deeply moved by my aunt, Zia Maria, asking to hold her. The anguish is so personal and profound. Even now, thinking of it brings tears to my eyes. I also hold close the memory of my nephew and niece – their beautiful faces with such love and sadness for their Nonna in those moments.
Here, you can see her brother, my Uncle Giulio, kissing her urn as I hold it. My son Nikko sat beside me. He was such a source of strength and love throughout the final weeks of his Nonna’s life. His hugs alone helped me in more ways than I can express.
And her crypt marker—simple, just as she chose when we made the arrangements years ago. My brother wrote the inscription.
Only one specific urn style and size will fit in the space so that it can be shared. As we planned, my urn will match hers, and when my time comes, our remains will rest side by side in the same space.
memory table
We held the luncheon reception at the back room of Casa de Bandini at the Forum, Carlsbad – one of mom’s favorite restaurants. They took such good care of us! It was the perfect way to end the day.
We had an extra table set aside where we laid out many photos and details of her life for everyone to touch and enjoy. A framed photo replaced her urn at the flower meadow. We displayed some examples of her work: a colorful baby blanket, embroidery, quilting, and crochet. There were many photos, documents, and her favorite prayer book too. Click the link to see it:
Instagram video of Nonna’s memory-table
leave-behind details
With my family’s input, I took the lead in preparing all of the chosen readings, music, and visual details for my mom’s services, for a very traditional Catholic celebration. My mom, born and raised in Italy, was extremely close to her love of faith – nurtured by her own mother. Anyone can see this inspiration woven in the details I’m sharing about her life and final blessings.
announcement: The first item to be prepared was the funeral announcement that we would text and put in the mail to family and friends. I used a pre-designed (wedding invitation/itinerary card) template on Minted.com called Rosebud by Baumbirdy. We went with the light blue as a theme woven throughout since it was one of Mom’s favorite colors – that was also a symbolic nod to her faith.
holy cards: Having a holy prayer card is a staple in Catholic tradition. We chose Our Lady of the Rosary (from Fatima) as the main image, with a prayer and image we liked. My husband, Rodney, helped me with the custom-layout. We had them printed through Disciplepress.com, and chose the laminated-glossy finish.
package to siblings: About a week before her funeral, her three surviving siblings would receive a package in the mail from me, with printed/framable photos, a program, eulogy, holy cards, rosary, and each would receive a golden Lilly of the Valley brooch to wear at the funeral. Pins were purchased from Syakasyaka Design on Etsy.com.
favor at reception: All who attended the luncheon reception received a blessed Benedictine “Pardon” Crucifix medal that was purchased and blessed at the Prince of Peace Abbey in Oceanside, packaged in light blue boxes.
eulogy
read by her granddaughter, Sachi
September 4, 2026
Today, we celebrate a soul who spent her life seeking happiness. In all things she would surrender herself to the love of Jesus Christ, guided by the intercession of Our Blessed Mother.
Through her, we caught a glimpse of the depth of God’s love for each of us:that is undeniable, constant, and never something we needed to earn. Her love was eagerly waiting to be shared with us.
She loved telling stories of how close she was with her siblings,and their adventures growing up in Italy. And then there was her mother – her true home. She would keep this home through her life by taking good care of us.
She made her heart a refuge – protecting her loved ones from the chaos and insecurities of the world. Her supply of love was endless and boundless. At any hour, under any circumstance, she was ready, able, and willing to be fully present for you. Her smile, her words, and her loving embrace were like a quiet grace. We could never say “I love you” enough. She would always beat us to her finish of “Love you longer!”
She held things lightly in this world because her heart was set on the next. If something she had could bring another person joy, she gave it freely. Beyond material things, she gave her precious time, attention, encouragement, and her forgiveness. She had a spark that used humor to make difficult things seem smaller.
She was the first person you’d want to tell if something wonderful happened. She was the first person you’d want to talk with if your heart was broken or exhausted. Somehow, even if you were wrong, she found a way to be on your side, encouraging you to dust yourself off and keep moving forward.
Maria’s life was defined by a quiet courage.She somehow managed to hold it together and without help, to be a foundation for her children.
She showed us that being brave doesn’t have to be loud or dramatic. Bravery can be accepting what was put in front of you, enduring what is hard, and making the best of it, while finding happiness and joy with any little thing that you’ve been given. In total gratitude, she would often say, “What else could I ask for?”
She carried unwavering hope, a profound trust in God, and a fierce love of truth. She was not afraid of the future. She was not afraid of suffering. And she was not afraid of the unknown, because she knew exactly who held her.
Through prayer, she opened doors, overcame obstacles, and moved mountains. A couple years before her death, Nonna was very aware of what would be in store for her body and mind. She told us: “Don’t cry anymore. I know how much you love me. You know how much I love you. My heart aches when you cry, and I don’t want that. God loves us, and that’s the most important thing. We have to put ourselves in His hands. He is in charge.”
Her soul is a source of our strength. When we are afraid, we can remember her faith. When we feel lost, we can remember her trust. When grief feels overwhelming, we can remember that this love of ours is eternal.
We return the gift of her life to the Father, confident that she has heard the words: “Well done, good and faithful servant.” Her death was an act of transformation for her beautiful soul. We have full confidence that she is triumphant, resting in everlasting peace and happiness with her own mother and loved ones in Heaven.
We are grateful for the pure love she showed us. We ask you, Maria Rosaria, to pray for us and for our intentions. May we honor your memory by the way we carry on with our own lives -with the faith, love, humility, and generosity you taught us. We hold your love in our hearts, and remain yours forever.
program & obituary
Below you can zoom in to the program posted page by page, to see the readings, music-choices, and intentions of her funeral Mass. The final pages include her obituary.
One tradition that always gets to me is the singing of Ave Maria at the very end of a Catholic funeral Mass. I cannot help but sob and cannot move until every note is complete.
I have prepared materials like these before. Ten years ago this week, on 9/26/16, my dad passed away, with my brother and mother by his side. I would plan and write the materials for his funeral. This past spring, I drew on those skills once again to plan my Uncle Tony’s funeral. He was Mom’s youngest brother and my Godfather. His death was tragic and unexpected – so it has been an especially difficult year for Mom’s siblings. I want (and need) to remain close to them.
Nonna’s legacy: more to learn
Here are some ways to connect or spend a little more time with Nonna:
Visit my food and recipe blog at glorifiedhobby.com, where I share the cherished Italian heritage recipes Nonna taught me—recipes filled with the love, traditions, and flavors of her home country.
You can also follow Nonna Is Home on TikTok or Instagram for more moments and memories in her voice.
Please subscribe to Nonna Is Home on YouTube. In the months ahead, I plan to share the unforgettable adventures from our road trip to Italy.
for sharing her love and talent
in no particular order, here are some memories/posts with Nonna & her joy with flowers.
I’m aware that this has been a LOT to share and to read. Pouring my heart out has felt good and necessary.
If you have notes or questions, please reach out.
Love always,
